Holding the Ring

 

On June 19, 1993, Alex and I exchanged simple gold rings bought on lay-a-way from what was a store called Service Merchandise. It seems utterly ridiculous looking back and I feel like everyone who knew us must have thought we had lost our minds. We met in October 1992 at the intramural field at the University of Montevallo. By December 26, 1992 we were officially engaged without an engagement ring and a proposal which was more of a question just brought up in natural conversation at a very romantic date at the Cracker Barrel. 

So a few weeks after graduating with my Bachelor's Degree and a month and half before starting to work on my Master's Degree, we exchanged rings and have been together in sickness and health. At this point we have been together longer than the number of years we lived before knowing one another. The journey has been incredible, filled with experiences from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows... just like every other couple out there who have moved through the "honeymoon" phase and survived. 

One of the scariest moments in this entire Alex/Renee journey was in January 2020 when I almost lost my traveling companion. I won't retell that entire story now, but for any who don't know Alex developed sepsis as we were traveling home from a family trip to Disney. We don't know how high his temperature was when we arrived at Shands Hospital in Gainesville, Florida. The triage nurse tried two portable machines and couldn't get the temp to read because whatever the reading should have been was higher than the machine would read. When I think of that terrifying time sitting alone in the surgery waiting room, five hundred miles from home, clutching my husband's wedding band praying, I thank God I had something tangible to hold. While my husband's body was fighting to continue to function and doctors were searching for the source of infection, all I could do was sit waiting and praying, holding the ring. 

Fast forward to our current week.... 

Sunday morning Alex called me about 10:00 (our church service starts at 10:30 AM) and told me he thought he had a kidney stone. This is an experience he has had several times during our years together so he knows what they feel like. He said "it's not that bad I think I can preach". Being the good wife I am, I strongly encouraged him to let our new associate pastor know what was going on so maybe she could have a few minutes to "prepare a few words" if he had to duck out quickly. Again, he says he will be fine but he agrees to inform the associate pastor. At 10:15 as I was about to get in the car to head to church on two wheels, he calls to say he is driving himself to the emergency room. The pain has increased. 

Now we have been down the kidney stone road before, so I had some expectations we would get some pain meds and the doctors would make some plan for the kidney stone. The emergency room doctor was wonderful and thorough. Alex's case was complicated by the fact that he had had some bladder difficulties over the past few weeks and a low grade fever was presenting, which was concerning to the doctor. The decision was made to admit him to the hospital with likely surgery the next day. Eventually we got Alex to a regular room but I was not allowed to spend the night. I left once I got him settled with plans to come back first thing Monday morning. 

As I was getting ready to head to the hospital I got a text from Alex that they were taking him to surgery then there was no response from his phone. I knew something was really wrong. When I got to the hospital I was able to see on the surgery board he was in the OR, then his room number disappeared from the board. Unsure what had happened, I went up to the floor where he had been where the nurses told me he was being sent straight to ICU due to fever. At 10:00 I was allowed to go back to ICU where so many staff members were working to cool his body down with ice packs and cooling blankets. I learned his temperature right after surgery spiked up to 109 degrees. The white board in his ICU room showed his arrival time to their floor at 9:35 am and his temperature at 105. The nurse had me take his wedding band as his body was starting to have some swelling.... So there I sat in a corner alone. Watching them work to cool my husband's body as sepsis tried to take him away from me again, holding onto his ring and praying. 

It's the early morning hours of Friday and I should be asleep.... Alex has finally been moved to a step down room now and he is on road to recovery. I will have to learn a new skill when he comes home, as we've been told he will need IV antibiotics for a while. Years of doing home health speech therapy and watching skilled home health nurses.... I never dreamed I would be the caregiver in need of the training. But I cannot express how grateful I am he's still here and alive in need of a caregiver. He's still here to be my husband, to be a dad, to be a brother and uncle, and to be a friend to whoever needs him. He's never failed to be here for me through our 32 years and whenever he needs me to, I'll hold his ring... in sickness and health.

Photo from January 2020